The Disappearing Self

One day, she realized she had found herself. After years and years of becoming and unbecoming, she peeled back the layers and found the version of herself she sought after for so long.

She loved this version.

She wanted more of this version.

So she continued the process of diving within to unravel more and more.

The more she unraveled, the more she evolved

the more she knew herself

the less she knew

herself.

Yet, she continued spiraling down the path with no destination

because that was the only destination that felt like one.

She knew no other way to be

than to be a version of herself she didn’t know

and couldn’t precisely identify until it was gone and another took its place.

And so she traveled down this winding path with no destination that sometimes looked familiar as if she’d walked it before until she lost herself within herself again and again.

And found herself

again & again.

She learned not to identify with the tangible

that which can be made & labeled & distributed.

She learned that even this language can only serve her so far

to relate to those she meets along her journey.

She learned to be herself despite herself and herself being

as though stepping into running current that changes form even before it’s touched.

It was all practice, you see.

Practice for what is to come

that is unknown

but needs to be practiced for

it to become

and become again.

I know I don’t know myself, but I’m trying.

She thought. She did. She became.

I know I don’t know myself

but I know more than I did yesterday

and I’m better than I was yesterday

a better version of myself

and better for it.

I know I don’t know myself

and I know I won’t ever.

I’ve made peace with that

at least I’m trying.

Book recommendations are books I’ve read that I felt drawn to share with you as I created this blog post. These are affiliate links from Amazon. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases❤

A book of poetry that captures the chaos & messiness of life and the paradox that when we “land”, we’re actually closer to falling apart again in the infinite cycle of self-discovery & awareness.

Poetry about understanding your relationship with yourself & your significant other.

An adventure into the waking and subconscious mind exploring the dream world & the world that can become so surreal we’re uncertain at times it begins and the other ends.